Friday, April 5, 2013

Baby Animal Days at Jensen Farm


Baby animal days is a big deal to our little girls!  Ava looks forward to this like nothing else!  With the rain this morning, we didn't have to wait in any lines, and that was perfect.  Sorry I didn't catch a picture of the baby bears.  Most of them were asleep, but there was one brown bear, that was so full of mischief, he was super cute.  We enjoyed watching him chase and catch his trainer.  This was a great day!
Ava on pony ride


goats

Holding the ducks


baby ducklings
Riding the train


face painting a chick on her cheek

Amari is a puppy
Amari rides a pony named Loredo, but she called it Burrito

Ava is in love with this bunny


Can we keep him Mommy?  Please??????

Aubrie had a baby chick that was so chirpy!


This is the closest I've ever been to an owl, so beautiful!

A white peacock!  Gorgeous!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Tortillas


   Like my siblings and my cousins, I have fond memories of my mom and my grandma making tortillas, in large quantities, for us to enjoy.  Over at GG's (great grandma Huerta's) us kids would sneak into the kitchen and snatch the tortilla on the top on the pile that was covered by a kitchen towel to keep it warm.  If we helped make tortillas, it was always fun to see what shape you ended up with, like Aunt Sandie said, they never come out completely round.  Sometimes they look oval, square, or like the state of Texas, but they always taste delicious!! 

     Today my mom came over to teach my daughters the art of making tortillas.  The ingredients are simple; flour, shortening, baking powder, salt and warm water.  We don't measure anything, somehow you just know how much to put in.  We rolled out the balls using water bottles for rolling pins.  We managed to get flour everywhere, but we had a blast.  I know store-bought tortillas are cheap, but they cannot hold a candle to the taste of homemade.  (Sorry Dan, they are all gone already, so no tacos on Saturday.  We'll make a big batch next time.) 

¡Gracias mamá! Aprecio cuando enseñas a mí ya mis hijas acerca de nuestra herencia. Era agradable pensar en la abuela y nuestra familia. La próxima vez vamos a hacer tamales y bailar al ritmo de Ricky Martin!
Grandma mixing the dough

forming the tortilla balls, back in the day she could do this step so fast!

rolling the tortillas flat


Watch for the bubbles

I can just smell this!

When we were kids we'd rub a stick of butter over the top when it came right off the skillet, YUMMY!

So good!!

Monday, April 1, 2013

To Hope, or not to Hope, that is the Question

     It's taken me a few days to process our day at the Huntsman.  On Wednesday, March 27th we spent a long, long, day at the hospital(s) running tests, infusion of meds, cleaning the port in his chest, and the CT scan.  Mark has to drink the contrast fluid on an empty stomache, and he ended up nauseated during the entire day (that stuff tastes aweful).  He had low energy, and felt unhappy to have to be in the hospital again. Every appointment was running late, we sat for hours in waiting rooms, with Mark in pain. It was not a good day.
     Hope, that beautiful word has been a source of pain and joy for me these years in the cancer world.  I've held out hope to varying degrees for a miracle.  We've had several small ones, and those have been wonderful for us!  I am now in a place of complete surrender to God's will.  When Mark shared the Easter lesson in our combined Relief Society/Priesthood meeting yesterday...he spoke of doubting Thomas.  Thomas loved Christ so much that he dared not hope for something so big, so great, as to believe he really could overcome death.  I think I can relate to Thomas in that kind of love.  I love Mark so much, that I no longer dare to hope for something so big, so great, as his life to be spared.  Everytime I do hope, I hurt more and more everytime I'm shown the path before me.  I've felt this loss countless times already. 
     Mark is strong and fearless in the path before him.  He gets discouraged on occasion but it never lasts for long.  He has also never lost hope in a miracle.  However, after our meeting with Dr. Gouw to discuss the results of the CT scan, I saw the hope fade and this time I hurt for his loss of hope.  I hurt to see him accept the inevitable....again.  Our drive home was somber and tears streamed down my cheeks.
     Dr. Gouw gave us some useful information, but most of our meeting was covering what we already know.  Without chemo treatments all of the tumors are growing.  The two largest are the size of tennis balls (but not perfectly round).  The tumors are not fast-growing right now, which is nice to hear.  The doctor said we still have "months" ahead of us.  I will let myself dream about Mark being able to baptize our daughter Ava on May 4th, and I will continue to make plans for our birthday bash, believing that he will be able to party with us.  Don't ask me to set plans for this summer though, we'll take that one week at a time.  
     One thing is for certain.  If Mark had not done chemo treatments at all, he would've died in 2011.  His perserverance through treatment has bought us a lot of quality time together.  I am so grateful for the medical treatments we've had, and incredibly grateful for Mark's strength to endure them. 
     So, do we hold out hope????  We do.  We hope that our time left together is filled with more adoration, and sharing with our children.  We hope that we've done and said all that we should to eachother and our children to prepare for our time apart.  We hope that our faith in Heavenly Father's plan of salvation will bring peace to us all.  We hope that we use these lessons of love and loss to allow us to have deeper hearts.  We hope that our story will somehow bless our family and friends.
    Hope is a beautiful gift.

   

    

Our Colorful Easter Weekend

Let's get this easter fun started!
Our eggs, including the Duran Duran album cover eggs!

Easter Weekend:  An unbelievably spiritual fireside about the life of Christ, love from Karen & Greg,  A visit from by best friend Charity and her husband Victor from Twin Falls, dying eggs, hiding and finding glow-in-the-dark eggs, staying up 'til 2 am for three nights, big Saturday breakfast, egg hunt with friends at the Davis', several work meetings to finish up end of the month and end of the quarter paperwork, side walk chalk, a drive to Franklin, ID, dancing to Ripkord's music, hugs from the fremilies, meeting up with Kay & Eric at Factory for dinner, extending our triple date to the movies (Great and powerful Oz), a long talk with Charity in our pjs, an awesome day at church including hearing Mark giving the Easter lesson, easter baskets filled with sugary treats, a yummy traditional dinner, an egg hunt at the Anderson's, a nap, and looking over all these pics at the love and joy!

glow-in-the-dark eggs
waiting for the egg hunt

Riah and Janessa helped the little girls find eggs

Charity and Victor
We filled the driveway with art





RipKord jammin'
Aubrie every minute of this weekend....
Love the Factory!
Nachos and peanuts

I mustache you a question
Kay, me and Charity


Movies!
Baskets of treats
Easter girls


All the Kailing girls

Me and Mark
My mom making deviled eggs and eating peeps

Dinner, yum!

Ava found an egg with a dollar inside!
Grace and Amari having fun
Emma and Riah
Loving the sunny day with friends and family :)



Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Mark's Lecture on Self Mastery Techniques

The techniques to gain self-mastery have been around for thousands of years. These have stood the test of time, there are great mysteries to discover in them! These techniques have spiritual foundations, each of us, and our society as a whole has a responsibility to gain this knowledge.  Those that desire to grow in self-mastery find that they have limited time to dedicate to the process.  Some of these steps can be simplified but this cannot be done with a "drive-thru" mentality.

Most of the beauties and joys of this earth go unnoticed.  To access deeper levels all we need to do is believe in them and the power can flow.  Self-mastery is stretching our imagination to what is possible.

PRAYER

Prayer might be instinctual, a cry for help for a higher energy.  The words that are spoken are only a portion of the process.  Open your mind, body and emotion as deeply as you can.  Prayer is so powerful, we don't even know how amazing it is. This is a process for changing your entire soul.  It is more about you than it is to the higher power you pray to.  To begin, awaken yourself to how you should feel about God (or whatever you call your higher energy).  Prayer should be a mediatation, not a redundant rambling of familiar phrases.

 Here is an acronym for prayer that may help you deepen the process for yourself;  "G.R.A.C.E"
G- Glorify, this is profound gratitude for creation and sustaining us.  Everything belongs to the God-force.  We are given so many gifts.  Kindness and love serve us all day, every day.  Feel this in your prayer.  Be in awe of the spirit.

R-Repent, acknowledge our weaknesses.  The purpose in this is to motivate us for change.  Feel what you're thinking.  The reason for weaknesses are to train us.  It helps us appreciate the divine all the more, we are not equal to God. 

A-Ask, but we shouldn't ask for everything we want.  We should ask for things altruistically, in a true desire to use those blessings and gifts to grow and serve others. We have a right to ask for the things that we need to complete our mission. 

C-Consecrate, give your entire self to the process.  Everything you do can benefit the whole world!  Your entire self should belong to the higher power.  Be more effective in life.  Even sleep can be a chance to heal you up so you can grow and serve the next day.  Fun activities are a way to heal up, rejuvinate, celebrate and deepen relationships. 

E-Endure, see how long you can keep the energy going.  It doesn't end after 'amen'.

LIFE

The art of living  is a technique toward deeper meaning.  Every second of every day is an infinite amount of potential.  See the magic of living your life.  Don't be numb!  Feel the flow of energy, beauty and intelligence everywhere.

MEDITATION


We should practice meditation regularly.  Close your eyes and create the ideal state of self. This may be one of the greatest lessons, and most useful as we manage life.   There are several types of meditation, different ways to comfort oneself.  We cannot love anyone anymore than your ability to be comfortable.  Dr. Kailing gives meditation as homework to each and every client.

Since time seems to be limited for most people's schedules, Dr. Kailing has simplified a meditation exercise to 5 minutes.  He has combined eastern and western philosophies.    If you were to do this once or twice a day, in a year you will be able to reach new depths of self-comfort, healing, and love.  There is no limit to what you can achieve. 

How:  The first 2 1/2 minutes are from the eastern philosophy emptying self; the mind and body of tension and stress.  You will be able to hear the spiritual messages from a higher power.  Deep breaths and imagining you are asleep.  Involve your senses, feel your muscles releasing tension.  Eastern philosophy helps us accept suffering.  Be willing to die and we suffer a lot less.  Our fears come from clinging to the things we need.  We don't really need anything from this world.  Visualize the toxic energy draining out of you, away from you, deep into the earth where it has no power over you.

The last 2 1/2 minutes are from the western philosophy filling self; bringing in spiritual, healing, positive energy to raise your energy level. Continue to take deep cleansing breaths.  You are everything in the universe.  With practice you can take in more of your senses and get your emotions involved.  We only take in about a tenth of the sensory comfort that we're capable of taking in; the breeze in the air, the cloud formations, the birds singing etc.  See a flower for the first time, admire it's beauty and scent, let it into you deeper.  People are limitied by our imagination.  We have to stretch our imagination as far as we can.  Imagine what is possible!

YOGA

Yoga is a form of self-parenting.  You, your logic are the parent.  Your body is the child.  By stretching you develop are relationship with your body of moderately comforting and moderately straining yourself.  We need to balance ourselves, command your body's respect of you.  Do this in ways that are loving and nuturing as well as ways to discipline.

MARTIAL ARTS/T'AI CHI


Energy follows your mind.  Pull energy into yourself and channel it out into a strike.  Own your space.  You should be a protector, willing to die.  In T'ai chi you flow with energy.  Express yourself, using the energy that flows through you.  Enjoy it.

CHANNELING ENERGY
Energy follows our mind.  Practice this.  You can manifest love, peace, and comfort.  First notice the energy, then magnify it, then channel through you to someone else.  Become a hollow reed, transferring good to others.