Mark finally stopped vomitting yesterday. He has been dehydrated for several days, but the IV fluids and new meds are helping. His blood cell counts and potassium levels are low. Mark has finally been able to eat and drink, and slept well last night, although he continues to have vivid, interesting dreams, some enjoyable and some frightening.
Today was the first time Mark had any amount of energy. He showered, dressed and went to the office, using his crutches. Pretty amazing. He was exhausted after 3 hours in the office, and has not gotten out of bed since. He is happier today.
In the past month I've slowed down my work load. I only have 2-3 Life Coaching sessions per day, and I teach a Basic Life Skills class on Thursday night.. I've had to be selective with my energy. I want to serve Mark, our children and my clients with good energy, and I have precious little of that lately. Mark has been grooming me to run our business, and this week I've taken on more of that responsibility. I enjoy the work, but I have to balance the demands of Mark's health issues, five children's schedules, running the home, and my sanity. Like I said, I'm tired and sad.
I remembered this quote; "I can do hard things" and I know that with the help of so many, and by trusting in the Lord, I CAN do hard things. We all can. That doesn't mean I do hard things perfectly, or well, but I can do them sufficiently and be blessed by my willingness to do so. Honestly, this just doesn't get any easier, so I better know that I can do hard things!
I always have hated it when someone says to me, Wow. What you went through must have been really hard. I don't think I could have done that. Because I don't think anybody was born with just the amount of strength they needed to get through their really hard time. Some things in life are impossible, and there is no way as individuals we could handle what life throws at us. But when it's our turn and we are called to the plate is when the Lord gives you exactly the amount of strength you need to get through it. I won't pretend to even know at all what you are going through, but I have had times when I woke up and didn't have the heart or the energy to get out of bed. But I have a testimony that when those times come Heavenly Father will bless you with strength. When it's to hard to take it one day at a time, just take it one hour at a time. "You can do hard things" has been my motto for a while. And you can. You are one of the strongest people I know. I love you and, as always, you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSweet, wonderful Jessi, thank you. I love you too.
DeleteOne of the first "a-ha" moments (silver linings) I had when Todd got sick was the moment I felt God bless me with strength. It had been 3 weeks since his biopsy, and the diagnosis just kept getting pushed back because they couldn't figure out exactly what he had. We knew it was cancer, just didn't know what kind. Just before our appointment to receive the diagnosis, I got on my knees and prayed SO hard...but more specifically, I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to be able to deal with whatever we had in front of us...no matter what the diagnosis was. The moment I got off my knees, I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace and STRENGTH. I KNEW that God was there, I KNEW he heard my prayer, and I FELT the strength that he gave to me. I think about you and Mark every day, and pray for you. I check your blog like a freaking stalker :) You can do this...you ARE doing this...as hard as it may be. Love ya...
ReplyDeleteLaDena, I'm Trent and Holly's sister-in-law (Trent is my husband's younger brother) and I followed a comment you made on Holly's blog to find yours. I just want you to know you and your family are in my thoughts. Our hearts are still very broken over our loss and it has made me so much more sensitive to those who are still fighting this terrible disease. We pray for your victories, whether it's the daily ones or the ultimate ones. God bless you.
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